i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
