I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
