You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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