He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Randomize
