I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
