I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
