i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
