Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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