I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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