she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
