i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
