His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
