it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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