I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
