Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
