im gay
i know
yea but for you.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
