Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
