wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Randomize
