I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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