Non-Jews are for practice
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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