how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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