Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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