69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
