i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Randomize
