i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
where are my eyebrows?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
