i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
