What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
