O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
