I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
