My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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