K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
