dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
