i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
