The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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