i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
