Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
