Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
