lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
