coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
