I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
