you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
