You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
