just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
