She said her name was "party"
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
