You're completely useless in the revolution.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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