walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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