also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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