I heard we made out
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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