ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
