We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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