So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
