can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
